Imagine if Monty Python, The Mighty Boosh, The Flying Conchords, Smack The Pony and The Fast Show all got together to have a child, then realised what a terribly poor idea it was and went their separate ways.

Then imagine if there was someone in a cafe across the road from that event nursing a cold cup of tea and a horribly burnt bacon sandwich.

These are the bored scribblings of the waitress at that cafe.