{Open on Nolan and Balvin sitting in Nolan’s lounge}
Nolan: Well?
Balvin: Well what?
Nolan: What do you think?
Balvin: Of what?
Nolan: My new comedy script.
Balvin: What new comedy script?
Nolan: Tch, this new comedy script – it’s a new concept in comedy script, we’re living it right now.
Balvin: {looks around, puzzled} We’re… living it?
Nolan: Yep, whatever we say, it’s being, kind of recorded.
{Balvin punches Nolan squaw in the nuts}
Nolan: What was that for?!
Balvin: What was what for? I didn’t do anything.
Nolan: You punched me squaw in the nuts!
{He didn’t, actually, I made it up}
Balvin: Who’s that?!
Nolan: Oh, that’s Tarquin.
Balvin: {Reels back in horror} Tarquin?
Nolan: Tarquin.
{Looks around the lounge, trying to find the third person in the room}
Balvin: But, where is he?
Nolan: He’s the narrator, he’s not actually here.
{Yes I am}
Balvin: But, why is he Tarquin?
{Why not?}
Balvin: Touche.
Nolan: So, anyway, what do you think of my new comedy script?
Balvin: Hmm, I’ve read better.
Nolan: Tch.
{Nolan and Balvin sit in an uncomfortable silence for the next eight hours}
Nolan: The end.
Balvin: I think you might need a few more characters to liven things up a little.
Nolan: Such as?
Balvin: Well, you don’t want a bunch of freaks, but how about Snodulous Terrorwhore, Frank The Elephant, Blaxploitation Man?
Nolan: Meh, I’ll think about it.
{fin}